How I Used Fantasy and Psychoanalysis to Explore My Unconscious Attraction to a Woman

Have you ever felt drawn to someone you barely knew, and wondered why? That’s what happened to me, and it led me to create a photography collection that explores the themes of fantasy and psychoanalysis. My collection is titled “Fantasy and Psychoanalysis: A Mixed Media Exploration”. It consists of four 30*40 photos that have been taken by digital camera and painted by oil color. The photos depict my personal experiences of being unconsciously attracted to a woman whom I didn’t know much about, and how this relationship triggered my unresolved issues with my mother and my fantasies of an idealized maternal figure.

I was inspired by Dali’s “Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening”. The photo shows: -Two wheels and a hands-free device that have taken her away from me and connected her with a gelato house and a flying unicorn, representing my imagination and wish-fulfillment -A farm with horses, a house and a protective older woman, who are all elements of my childhood fantasies -A woman on the rock who is my mother, and always wanted me to be independent and self-reliant -A surreal and whimsical background, creating a contrast with the realistic and mundane woman I often listen to music and cycle to escape from my painful reality and to dream of a place where I can be happy. The gelato house is the place where I attracted to her as much as before.

I was inspired by Kahlo’s “The Love Embrace of the Universe, the Earth (Mexico), Myself, Diego, and Señor Xolotl”. The photo shows: -The woman sitting on a broken glass and me as a child hugged by her and trying to suck milk from her breast, which is also marked by the apple of Eve -A city that resembles Canada, where she talked to me about going with me -The planet Venus and the moon, which are symbols of her femininity and our connection -A dramatic and expressive background, creating a contrast with the calm and passive woman This expresses my conflicted feelings towards her, as I both desired her and resented her for not

fulfilling my needs. I fantasized she was my Aphrodite, since she had told me that she would be my goddess, but all of those words were fleeting.

I was inspired by O’Keeffe’s and Schiele’s paintings of nude bodies in nature. The photo shows: -A barren and desolate landscape, creating a contrast with the lively woman -The sight of the bodies in pain reminded me of the trauma I had endured, and the unbearable anguish that made me wish I could erase it from my memory. This is the only photo in which the subject’s face is clear, but somehow it has also changed, so that it is not possible to distinguish whether this is really her or just my imagination

I tried to get help from nature and its energy, but the roots of these thoughts are strong, and it will take a long time to resolve them in me.